auspex_caelo | And the Stars Turned Back [for smartass

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And the Stars Turned Back [for smartass_captain ]

Once they’ve picked up Felix, Stratos leads the way back through their door. It’s left to his little brother to unseal the wards and stay back to set them back in place before following. The tribune-turned teenager conjures a light – that he can do, still – and shows Jim up the sloping tunnel beyond. The stone walls look like a mix of natural erosion and worn masonry, lit by intermittent torches mounted along the way.

It looks like a straightforward path, bending this way and that but leading steadily upward. Stratos, however, is well aware of the illusions laid to give that impression and he keeps Jim close. He’s frowning deeply as they climb, trying to ready himself for what’s to come. Trying to convince himself that all will go well when he presents himself to his subordinates.

It feels like a much longer climb than usual, though his legs can’t be that much shorter.

“Are you hungry?” he asks Jim over his shoulder abruptly. That’s one thing he can be sure of remedying anyway.

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Felix gives him a smile, all reassurance. He means it, of course: if he loses his grip on the spell, if it falls apart or dissipates too much uncontrolled power, he knows it'll be directed away from Jim. That's the whole purpose of this spell, to break magic and remove it.

Just to be sure, he double-checks the notes and then sets them behind him on the table as he stands. He spreads his hands, palms upward and head bowed as he concentrates on forming the spell. The light which gathers in his hands is greenish, tinged with a yellow color quite unlike the gold of his healing magic. Felix takes his time bringing his hands together, making a weaving series of gestures before he casts the spell on Jim.

He has the strength for this - barely. He knows that from trying it out before. The light wraps around Jim, seeking the magic bound to him and tugging, trying to unravel and dispel it. The question is whether this spell has the power to actually counter a curse of this strength...

...And either way Felix must have missed something in the casting instructions, because when his spell dissipates it comes apart with a bang, directed outward from Jim and strong enough to rip the tent from its pegs. Good thing the hide isn't too heavy.

"Felix!"

Jim forgets about secrets, forgets to be quiet, forgets everything the moment the spell rips apart and he screams the Imperial's name even as the tent uproots itself. He doesn't know what happened. Doesn't know why it didn't work. What he knows is that he's okay but all of that energy threw Felix back.

There's desperation in Jim's voice and no color to his face as he scrambles forward to check on the conjurer. His eyes are wide, shaking, wet. No, no this can't be happening.

"Felix!" Small hands scrabble to pull him up as Jim panics about the Imperial's safety. He's starting to sound hysterical.

Felix is blinking at the sky before Jim's hands tug at him. He's more stunned than hurt - though there'll be bruises later - and he'd be content to just lie there for a bit, until the yelling arrives.

Except Jim's panic penetrates the haze. Reluctantly he pushes himself up, wincing as weight settles on his rear. His face and clothes are sprinkled with dirt and straw, his hair's disheveled and his movements are feeble - but his eyes are focusing and he's aware.

"Hey, I-" He catches sight of Jim's face and alarm comes pounding in. He reaches an exhausted arm to pull the boy closer. "Jim? Jim are you...?"

Never mind the shouts from around the camp or the approaching boots. Stratos is going to be very unamused but Felix can't even try to enjoy that thought.

He doesn't care that there's tears streaming down his face, doesn't care either that his voice has that shrill pierce to it only a child's fear can create. He's shaking from head to toe and as soon as Felix is pulling him close Jim is scrambling, getting into Felix's lap and clinging as though he'll be swept away if he doesn't.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you to do it I'm so sorry Felix are you okay?" He only breathes when the necessity is there, drawing a sobbing gasp from him as he clings desperately. "I'm sorry I'm sorry...."

Jim doesn't take heed of the sounds of approach, rocking back and forth and clinging like he is. Jim hates to show weakness in front of others, but now others may as well not exist as Jim sobs into the conjuror's shoulder.

Oh no. Oh Talos, he didn't mean to... Felix sucks in a breath, wrapping his arms around Jim and hugging him tight while he tries to get his head together. Stratos is there already, glaring at him but looking more concerned for Jim and telling Celann to shoo away the others.

"It's all right! It's all right, I promise. I'm fine Jim, look. Just fine. Just... made a fool of myself." He strokes Jim's hair with one hand, the other at the boy's back, ignoring the soreness of extra weight on his forming bruises. "It's my own fault. Are you all right?"

"I'm f...'m fine."

Jim hasn't bothered to wipe his eyes or any part of his face off really. He'd have to let go of Felix for that and that is so not happening quite yet. He shakes in Felix's grip, sobbs starting to trickle off into hitched breaths while he tries to wrangle his childish emotions under control.

"Didn' hurt me at all. J..just like you said. You didn't say it was gonna hurt you though..!" Sniffle. "Don't get hurt you can't get hurt I need you..."

"I'm sorry," Felix says softly, nuzzling against the boy's wet cheek. "I'm not really hurt, I swear. I didn't mean for that to happen, it was just a little accident. That happens sometimes when you're experimenting with something new..."

"It shouldn't," Stratos says sternly. He straightens up from rooting under the collapsed tent, flaps a tattered handful of pages at Felix. He should probably let Jim calm down a bit before he starts this, but as a teenage he has less patience and the irritated impulse to call his little brother out on thieving and getting himself (nearly) hurt. "And you shouldn't have these. How did you get them?"

Oh, right. Oops. "I, ah, found them." Felix shrugs. He knows Stratos knows that he stole them; there's no point trying to muster a cunning story here. Frankly the elder Stratos knows to expect that sort of snooping.

"He was trying to help us both, Stratos."

Jim looks up from where he's sitting, finally realizing there's anyone else in the entire world at this moment than Felix. His grip on the younger Caelus' leather loosens, and Jim's already pushing himself to his feet. Arranging his face into careful and in control, though it's less believable than it usually is. His emotions are much harder to control at this age.

"He knew you wouldn't have enough magic like this, and he's trying to fix this for both of us instead of just relying on you all the time. I'm the one who told him t'do it. If you're gonna be mad at someone, be mad at me."

Stratos blinks, taken aback by this interruption. From the way he stares at Jim, he plainly wasn't expecting the younger boy to join the argument. Celann is keeping a tactful distance and trying not to get caught up in it, having wisely sent Yolande off to shoo away gawkers and reassure their comrades they're not under attack.

"I'm not mad at you," he insists. Why would he be mad at Jim? Jim's the one who got upset! "Felix is older - and he studies magic, I mean. He ought to know better. He definitely shouldn't go stealing my notes and using them without me." Have a renewed glare, Felix.

"Someone had to try," Felix answers unrepentantly. He still has a steadying hand on Jim's back as the captain gets to his feet. "What's the point of collecting these old spells otherwise?"

"...Yeah but..."

Jim looks back at Felix, then up to Stratos a few times. With it being clear that Felix isn't hurt Jim's a little bit better at holding himself together but the roller coaster of emotions coupled with the day's events is wearing him thin. He's exhausted now as the adrenaline begins to ebb. Jim doesn't have the energy to get in the middle of this too much.

"We just wanted to help fix it..." He tries again, voice quieter and without it's attempt at an adults authoritarian edge. He sounds apologetic, really.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Stratos almost sounds hurt now. For once Felix isn't going to help. He's burned out from the over-powerful spell and the question is met with a roll of his eyes.

"Because you'd have just forbidden it," Felix points out. "You'd never have let me try it."

"That's not true! I'd have... I..." Stratos trails off, realization tinging his upset expression. After a quiet minute he says in hurt tones, "Things like this we always do together."

"Did," Felix corrects him tiredly. His next words are a little too mean to just be exhaustion, though. There's a sore point here. "It hasn't worked that way in a long time. Don't you remember?"

Stratos stares at him, face scrunched up and swallowing hard. After a few seconds he takes a deep breath, trying to speak steadily. "You should talk to Celann if you're hurt. Otherwise put your books away and go let Jim sleep already. You can use my tent."

Oh honestly. Jim looks between the two brothers again and sighs. It always ruffles him whenever people have the grace of a decent family and squabble over things he thinks shouldn't really be important. Were he his proper age, he'd remind himself that everyone's business is their own and it's not his place to judge. As he is now, Jim just reaches out and grabs at Stratos's hand.

"Come with us?" He will use the best puppy dog eyes he can muster, looking up at Stratos though his face is still tilted downwards. "We can talk about what went wrong and work it out together. All of us." And sleep. Jim is so on board with that.

Stratos looks down at him, pressing his lips together unhappily. He doesn't want to say no to Jim, doesn't want to make the other kid sad again. But his own hurt and anger flare up at the thought of talking to Felix any more. He hates being like this. He hates Felix ~~being in the right~~ treating him this way, and he hates being small and not in control and unable to come up with a counterargument.

"...I can't. I've got to take care of things." It's only half a lie, it doesn't really count. "I'll come in a while and sleep. We can go look for Dr. Hill in the morning."

"Don't worry about him," Felix murmurs to Jim. "He likes being on his own when he's upset."

"..Okay.."

Jim lets go of Stratos' hand and doesn't say anything else. In truth, he'd love to argue and make a case for them to work and rest together, but he just can't muster up the willpower to care too much at this point. it's a wonder how he's still standing.

He allows Felix to lead them to their new sleeping location, ignoring any and all looks or comments thrown his way in the process. Felix has to lead him a bit by the hand; Jim's having a hard time keeping pace. He rubs at his eyes once inside the tent and pulls off his tunic as soon as the tent flap is shut.

"S'too warm underneath furs with this on too." He whines quietly, though acquiesces to insistences that he has to keep the rest of his clothes on. "I don't normally." Is the only whine he gives in protest.

"Precisely," Felix mutters, shaking his head. "This is a rather exceptional situation, Jim. Here, need a hand with your shoes?" Felix is happy to help, just as long as the boy keeps his breeches on.

The Imperial's barely got enough energy left to get his own boots and leathers off. His sluggish fingers fumble with the stays for far too long, but it's worth it to avoid the discomfort of falling asleep in his armor.

The good news is that Stratos' tent, while not extravagantly luxurious, is more cushy than his own. There's less of a draft, more space, a mat covering the floor... and importantly, a nice soft stack of furs on an actual bed frame. Felix doesn't hesitate to flop down, or to offer Jim snuggles once they're both settled.

"Sleep well. We'll get all this sorted... t'morrow... promise." Drained as he is, the conjurer drops off even faster than usual. If Jim stays awake long enough, it's up to him to watch for Stratos trudging in with a bedroll some time later, when weariness finally overcomes his need for solitude.

Jim nods, grasping Felix's hand draped around his waist and stays still while he listens to the Imperial drop off into a deep sleep. In truth, Jim would love nothing of the sort but to nod off too--he's exhausted--but his brain is refusing to allow him even this barest of peace. He's too busy running through what ifs, contingency plans if this isn't reversible.

What he's going to do if he loses everything because of this. His crew. Bones and Spock. Felix. Jim fights back a feeling of nausea as his own fears swirl like predatory sharks inside of him, just waiting for him to show weakness so they can strike.

Blue eyes snap to the tent when it opens later, and he wriggles out of Felix's grip as delicately as he can. "Lay it out over here with us." Jim whispers to Stratos, beckoning him over. "It's your place, an' all."

Stratos's grim frown breaks into surprised blinking at Jim. He didn't expect the younger boy to be awake and he's reluctant for a moment still. But he doesn't want to refuse Jim and he's too tired to argue even if he had anything to really argue over.

He comes over and fumbles with the bedding until it's laid out all right, then plonks down ungracefully to pull his boots off. And chide Jim in a whisper, "You should be asleep."

"...I can't sleep."

Jim admits, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching for Felix's hand that had been wrapped around him earlier. He sounds as tired as he looks, and he looks completely miserably exhausted.

"I'm...trying to figure out what to do if this isn't fixable. I hate feeling so helpless."

Stratos pauses, finishes yanking his boot off, then curls his legs under him and scooches around to look up at Jim.

“Me too.” The admission carries the sound of his own exhaustion and frustration. Stratos sucks in a deep breath and reminds himself he’s the older one. “But you’re not helpless. And we’re not going to stay this way. It’s not like we upset a god or something. Curses like this take up a lot of power and they have to break eventually.”

He doesn’t really know that for sure, but he says it confidently enough to half convince himself. “Tomorrow you’re going to help us find Dr. Hill and we’ll get this fixed. Or he’ll tell us how we have to break it, anyway. That’s how it always goes in the books.”

"I can't lose my ship. Or..."

Jim chokes off, shaking his head. He can't even imagine losing Felix because of something like this. They'd never be able to be together with Jim in this stupid kid's body. Felix would leave him and--

Jim's shaking now, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. It's not fair. He finally gets something that makes him happy and then this happens?

"Jim..." Stratos pushes himself up to sit alongside him on the bed. He still doesn't know all of Jim's fears, but he understands the terror of losing what they have. He can't fight or command anyone like this, can't intrigue or organize adults. His family would be taking care of him all over again. Who would keep the Nexus protected from the Thalmor? Who would make sure the Empire has the spells they need if the Dominion attacks?

"We'll be all right. I promise. Even if it takes a while to break the curse... you can stay with us. We'll take care of y- of each other. We can figure out what to do about your ship too. It's just like you're on leave, isn't it? Like you got sick for a while."

"..Yeah. Yeah."

Jim clings to Stratos a bit, burying his face in the older child's shoulder and curling up next to him as close and as small as Jim can make himself. He hates this feeling of weakness. Of helplessness. but Stratos understands and they're here. As long as Jim can hide this from Starfleet, he can have Spock be acting Captain.

It's not an ideal situation, but it is something.

"Okay. just gotta...sleep. For now." easier said than done, but Jim is so tired. His fingers grip at Stratos's sleep shirt as he tries to still his own fears and shaking and allow himself to sleep.

"Good, exactly." Stratos blinks down at him in the darkness, but there's no way he has the heart to dislodge Jim now. It looks like he's sleeping with the others tonight. He curls his arm around the smaller boy, swallowing a lump in his throat as he thinks of the boy he used to curl up with this way, now fast asleep behind them.

"Come on," he mumbles, settling down between the two of them and letting Jim snuggle close before he pulls the furs over them. At least he has it easier, in a way. Concentrating on soothing his substitute little brother keeps his mind off his own problems, and slowly his breathing steadies as he dozes off.

He's going to regret that position when he wakes up, of course.

That bed is not made for three grown men.

What was snuggly and warm last night is oppressively warm and entirely too much skin to skin contact and weight from bodies being too close.

None of which bothers Jim in the least, who is entirely dead to the world even as others in the tent may or may not be stirring. He's more or less in the same position he finally fell asleep in, one arm curled up underneath himself while the other is draped over Stratos, who he's using more or less like a pillow. At least Felix is only crowded on his back, poor Stratos is squished up against Felix and has Jim on top of him, little snores leaking out from Jim every now and then belying just how exhausted the captain had been made by the day before's trying adventures.

At least he doesn't drool, but he's definitely still as shirtless as he was several hours ago.

It's lucky that Stratos' first impulse, when he comes to, is to hold still and stifle his panic reflex. He's too hot and something's pressing on his chest, constricting his clothes. There's no room to move.

He pushes himself up onto his elbows, sucking in a breath. Then he looks down to either side of him, and it finally comes back to him where he was, what they were doing. So does the realization that it's fixed, they're back to normal and dear Stendarr he needs to get these clothes off.

To say nothing of the eyeful he's getting of what his brother sees in Jim.

Carefully he tries to peel Jim's arm off him and extract himself from the man-pile. If the gods are kind maybe he can get out and dressed before either of them stirs.

And the Stars Turned Back [for smartass_captain ]

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